Today’s EyeEdit Writing Tip: Watch for tone and word-attitude.

Try to keep your tone positive and confident.  A curt tone can alienate readers, and a tentative tone can cause readers not to take you seriously. Appropriate tone depends on your purpose and your target audience.  Balance is therefore important.

In the examples below, the message is the same but the tone is different:

  1. Pay up or we disconnect.
  2. You are our valued customer and we want to keep your service going. We therefore urge you to pay your bills by the 15th of each month so as to avoid disconnection.

Which of these messages would you prefer to receive from your utility company?

Quiz

How would you assess the tone in the sentences below? Indicate where you would consider the tone positive (P), negative (N) or where you think there is room for improvement (RI).

  1. Because of recent declines in profits, no one will be getting a Christmas bonus this year.
  2. Unfortunately, due to the decrease in sales this year, we will not be awarding Christmas bonuses this year. However, we want to thank you, as always, for your performance, and we cordially invite you to our annual holiday party.
  3. This letter is to inform you that you will attend the upcoming mandatory meeting.
  4. We will appreciate your attendance at the upcoming mandatory meeting.
  5. You did not assemble the parts correctly, and so the product is malfunctioning.
  6. The product may not work correctly if any errors occur during assembly.

Suggested responses to quiz

The tone in B, D, and F would generally be considered as more positive than the tone in A, C, and E

Happy writing,

EyeEdit Team

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